I was on a video conference call this afternoon with a powerful group of shamans, and we were investigating the source of anxiety we all had been feeling this past few weeks. I had been pointing out the irony of my "Going Home to Kansas" project and how I still felt estranged from my home, despite physically being a few hundred yards from where I came into this incarnation. Suddenly, a huge gust of wind battered at my front door, loud enough to be heard by the others on the call, and immediately one of the group declared, "The wind recognizes you!" The wind suddenly died down as if to say, "Yes! I do recognize you."
A sort of inner bell sounded deep in my psyche, and I immediately recognized how the land, the weather, the air had been greeting me since I arrived in my new house. This was a breakthrough for me, because I have tended to live my life as if someone else was living it--separated from my true origins, a sort of fugitive on the run from a life I've never known. The wind reminded me of this, as though it had been tracking me the entire 66 years I'd been away from this land.
My intent for moving my body from the warm and sunny climes of Southern California to the pronounced seasonal climate of Southern Kansas was completely metaphorical. Something or someone was nudging me in a deep and poignant way to return to my roots--return to a place where I truly felt "homeness". What I mean by "homeness" is that deep, core feeling that everything is good, all needs are cared for, and where I am loved and cherished, and am in full touch with my universal power and infiniteness of being.
We began to discuss what a false dichotomy it is to separate the self as spirit, or consciousness, from physical experience and the body. The non-dualistic truth is that there is no separation between spiritual and physical. In fact, this false separation could be considered one of the oldest divide-and-conquer tricks perpetrated by the Controllers in the master-slave power games.
By observing Self as consciousness throughout matter, it puts us in a powerful creative position. There is no uncertainty about what is going to be reflected back to us--we are just BEING, and the swirling of physical matter we call the perception of life is merely responding to that being. When there is a false sense of separation, we develop anxieties about what "The Other" is going to "do" to us. We get all caught up in the victimization drama of being separated from our own creations. The Universe then begins to respond to our victimization, and down the rabbit hole we go, hands wringing, and sweat pouring.
By simply being fully assured of being, we find ourselves out ahead of life. We see our experience as truly and simply following our lead. There is no confusion about this as there was before. I've written about how Don Genaro taught Carlos Castaneda that the shaman (or Nagual in Toltec parlance) remains "in front of" life--able to see its approach clearly and completely. He can do this because he is completely at home in his being, undistracted by unpredictable uncertainties. He is undistracted because he perceives from a place of clear-eyed truth about who he is, and what he is being.
Appropriate to the Land of Oz here in Kansas, as the good witch Glenda advised Dorothy, "You've had the way to get home all along. Just click those heels of your ruby slippers together three times, and say, 'There's no place like home... There's no place like home... There's no place like home.'" We say that because Home is the ultimate and powerful state of being that has always been available to us, no matter what rabbit holes we wander down, or what victimized dramas we make so serious. Home is always within us. Hey, I can see Emerald City from here!
One of my favorite "observationalists" is the "controversial guru", Teal Swan. She consistently manages to dig down to the basic fundamentals of most any cultural construct, assumption or judgment. Kudos to Teal. Look her up on YouTube if you haven't already.
This is a perfect set up for suffering for the temporal self. The temporal self usually has a whole raft of what it will deem "acceptable" and "what is supposed to be". The higher self has no such viewpoint. It only sees the potentials for growth.
Humans are funny mammals--funny tragic, that is. At our core we are infinite spiritual beings, and by the time you zoom in through all the levels of power dissipation, we're left with individuals with tragically limited personal power, separated and compartmented into a matrix of beliefs about who and even what we are.
The other day, I found myself in a group visualization meditation with a prominent local psychic. She led us to an expansive garden and then asked us to find the tour guide for the garden, and ask the guide for a special message just for me. Immediately, there appeared a deep blood-red rosebud. The rosebud spoke, saying, "Humans' DNA is programmed just like ours: to bloom into a beautiful flower--to attain a higher state. It is the Law of the Universe."
Some researchers have gone as far as suggesting that our own consciousness drives not only what we perceive, but events that occur in our local space-time. In other words, what we desire to see is what the intelligences of the universe deliver to us. Since most of us are buffered from total and complete knowledge of who and what we actually are, the illusion is created that life is "happening to us", when in truth, life is happening as a result of us.
Last issue I wrote about letting go of your personal Utopia. I got some flack about that statement, being accused of dashing any hope for living, and dealing an existential blow to dreams and goals.
A couple of years after the passing of my partner and founder of this company, Shay Arave, I started entertaining thoughts about being in a new long-term relationship. Nowadays, it's logical to jump on the various dating sites and see what pops up. One of my preferences is that the person be spiritually oriented, and preferably well versed in metaphysical matters.
The quantum living approach? "This is my relationship life. How does it get better than that?" As I embraced living in this question, new possibilities almost immediately came to me--and some very intriguing ones I hadn't even considered. The choices began to mount, and my awareness increased, especially about my judgements, conclusions and preferences. I realized I didn't really want a "long-term" anything. I just wanted to share my life with someone who respects me and what I do and allows me complete freedom in the creation of my life. I'd be happy if that was for just 20 minutes or 20 years. I'd successfully deconstructed the "long term relationship" myth for myself.
As I watch wind-driven snow billowing up into phantasms of white, enigmatic shapes, I sit considering my situation. Two weeks ago I made a life-shaking decision to return to the town of my birth. I was stalled out and rumaging around in a life I was not enjoying, except for the few minutes of respite as I lay in bed at night. So, it was time for a change!
One of the major things I learned during my eight-year daily yoga practice was to relax while falling. What I mean by this is one of the properties of doing yoga asanas (poses) is to arrange your body in ways it either never has been placed, or is blocked somehow from being put in a particular position. This can lead to losing your balance, discomforts, straight out pain, or some sort of emotional release. The key to making progress with yoga asanas is to relax while the body gets accustomed to out-of-range placements, pain or falling. In this way, the "fight-or-flight" response is lessened, and it's then easier to approach the pose the next time and gain greater range of motion.
At the core of asana yoga, for example, the practice requires one to awaken and make conscious all the energy meridians of the body, so that through the thousands of energy channels flows unimpeded life force, love, prana, and awareness. When any of these energy channels are blocked or constricted, it is experienced as discomfort, pain, confusion, emotional turbulance, or imbalance. By consciously manipulating our energies, we achieve a healing of that rift between what was once unconscious and is now conscious.




I had something happen the other day that massively shifted my world. Recall in the "Matrix" movie when Neo notices a black cat strolling across a doorway--twice. Morpheus told him it was a "glitch in the Matrix", and was a sign that the program was being overwritten with new data, and in the movie was a sign the pursing Agents were onto them.
I woke up this morning, and besides my normal waking fog, as I sat on the edge of my bed, there was some familiar terrain of feeling down deep. It was familiar in the sense of it seemed ancient and something I hadn't felt for a very long time. It was soft, powerful, all-encompassing and poignant--as if I had just arrived back home after a long absence.
I got into a friendly debate this past week about what healers actually do when they are healing someone. My friend insisted that healers have the ability to "send energy" to others, and that energy from the healer is what causes healing in another. Although I'm sure this happens in some cases, my contention was that, if the energy sent by the healer was not recognized by the "healee", then the effect would be temporary, or non-existant. My friend said, "Well, how do you explain Reiki, or Qigong?"
Those of a certain age will recall the grade school drills conducted in preparation for a nuclear blast--duck and cover. I remember doing this a couple of times in 4th grade, at the height of the atomic bomb scare during the early late 50s, early 60s. At the time, I did not understand how ducking and covering--cowering really--under our desks was going to be any sort of protection if a nearby atomic blast was going to instantly wipe away everything. Even if we were to survive the initial blast, there was the deadly fallout to follow, so either way, ducking and covering made no sense to me. I guess the educators responsible for this drill figured it would be better to keep innocent children's wide eyes shut in the face of total anihilation, than to witness the carnage while it was happening. I dunno.
When it comes to our own psychologies, it is important to discern the difference between an existential threat and a purely imaginary duck and cover event. And on the road to spiritual development, there are NOTHING except ephemeral fears masquerading as existential threats. That is to say, whatever we are ducking and covering from will never destroy us--only make us stronger.
I'm not long for this world. Not to say I'm leaving a world, but to say this current externalized world is not where I'm headed. Call it a "parallel universe", "alternate timeline", or "dimension"--it's the journey I've come here to undertake.
Of course, the metaphor for "the gods" is the Higher Self--that overseeing consciousness beyond space and time, and yet also a participant in life with the temporal self. And here we have the crux of the matter. The temporal self can look out upon the world and see a reflection of past decisions, past and present states of being, and externalized intentions. The Higher Self looks upon the entire life--past, present and future--and like the Biblical Creator on the 7th Day declares "All is good."
I keep coming back to this "non-duality" concept, because it is so much at the crux of creation, and indeed, why we as infinite creators continually choose to participate in such an extreme form of duality.