That Bias Against Not Knowing

 

If you've lived long enough, there is a deeply transformative event that has probably happened to you. I call it "breaking open". It's when your worst fears, your deepest separations, and the destruction of your most cherished beliefs, lead you to such a deep despair, you begin to question everything you knew to be true. You realize you just don't have ANY answers--you have NOTHING to offer, and a survey of your life reveals no value whatsoever.

The first time this happened to me, I was in a difficult marriage riding alongside an existential mid-life crisis. I didn't know what to believe anymore. I didn't believe IN anything--certainly not myself. I felt like there was no "me" there anymore. What finally returned me to a functional ego was a book by Dr. Gerald May, The Dark Night of the Soul. In it I found a sort of spiritual rock to cling on to while I rode out the existential storms of my life. In time, I found comfort in the embracing of that dark night, as it revealed to me the depth of my feelings, the breadth of my not knowing, and the cosmic panorama of who or what I might be.

The second visit to the dark end of the street, was the loss of my partner. Her death broke open my heart, where I could see all the ways and hidden recesses of my resistance to loving, and the terrible regret I now had that I never truly shared myself with her. It hit me much harder than I had expected, or I should say her death was not what hit me so much as the realization that I never let myself love her the way she loved me. The further shock was seeing how I lied about it, and denied my own heart. Why was I seeing this NOW after she's gone! I cried, I writhed in the remorse, and I went deep into the grief of how I had lost my own heart.

These two journeys laid me out spiritually, prostrate on the rocky shore of the threshold to divine communion--a kind of ego destruction where nothing is important, and yet it all seems to have impact.

What got me reminiscing about these adventures was a talk by Miranda MacPherson called, "Ego Relaxation". She describes her own "breaking open" of her spiritual practice that reduced her to an extreme state of not knowing. Not knowing who or what she was, not knowing if she had anything to offer the world, or herself.

She finally came to an awareness that these profound states of not knowing are also part of who we are. And, in fact, are a gateway to our own divinity. As corporeal beings living in this dualistic world of opposites, we form biases in favor of knowing. We avoid and fight our own ignorance, and take definitive steps to transform our ignorance into knowledge. Culturally, not knowing has negative consequences, and is all twisted up with trust issues and existential security.

We diligently seek "answers" when we don't know something, and mistakenly carry over that habit into our spiritual life where there is a whole other thing going on. We get confused between ego knowing and the awareness of self.

The ego says it knows what and who we are--it knows what we've done and why. It knows what love is, and is certain about its own potentials and purposes. These are all ego constructs, and they are the solid basis upon which we build our sense of what is real, and what we are willing to experience.

The conflict arises when we attempt to connect to the Universal. We don't reference ourselves as being everything, because then there is no individual-ness, no point of reference between who we are and God. MacPherson points out that this is where the real spiritual work begins. We can begin to acknowledge and relax all the ego constructs, we can begin to seek to de-construct all those decisions and choices about who and what we are, admitting the Truth that we are everything, and yet are nothing. Our life is created simply because we exist, and yet what we are is an ineffable single point from which all things proceed.

By laying out the ego and allowing it to be just as much a part of our being as the rest of our life, allows us a transcendence of the dualities of living. Our identity can be more truly seen as a loved and loving character, an avatar if you will, in this game we have gotten so caught up in.

Your identity is loved. Who you are at any moment is loved. And through that love is the eternal connection we all have to each other.

Death Is Obsolete

 

"Death, as a concept, is preposterous in the face of the infinite effulgence of being." -- Unknown

From a quantum perspective, death is actually a re-arrangement, a re-assignment, of particles and waves. But death in the way it is used in casual social parlance, means the "end" of a living organism's lifespan. I had a wonderfully bizarre conversation with a channelled being calling itself "Anttarr" one afternoon back in 1991.

I had asked if my lifespan was predictable--you know, that question that most psychics get: When am I going to die? Anttarr replied, "Dying is a hallowed tradition amongst you humans. It is a way to escape commitments, prove a point, give up, and stop playing the game."

I countered, "So we humans don't have to die? If we wanted to, we could live as long as we wanted?"

And before I had completed that sentence, Anttarr barged in, "Of course, of course. But there is much to unravel here. There are hundreds of generations of DNA programming to prove to you that death is as inevitable as taxes," it chuckled. "But no, you don't have to leave your body, nor do you have to age. That, too, is a social meme, a more, an accepted value; a way of constructing a character around an ego. A way of using time to validate self."

I didn't really have anywhere else to go with the conversation, so I changed the subject. But Anttarr's words stuck in my craw, and every time I start mulling over my mortality, Anttarr is standing there waving his "finger".

This week, Deepak Chopra published an article in SF Gate Magazine, called "Practical Immortality". In it, he stresses the point that consciousness cannot be non-existent. It always has been and always will be conscious. It is the basic, fundamental property of experience, the physical universe, and all dimensions beyond this one.

Within this context, the concept of death is exposed as an extreme example of duality. As Alan Watts said, "Death implies Life", since death would be meaningless without life. In the social human world, we have languaged and defined life as "not death", focussing cultural attention on the end of life being the reason for living. On the face of it, it makes a kind of slavish sense, but universally and from a non-dualistic view, it is absurd.

If we can turn this around so that death exists alongside life, it makes much more sense, and becomes something we can work with. Life no longer is defined by death--no longer defined by "lifespan". Instead, death becomes a useful agent for change--a way to transform self, and transcend the death-obsessed ego.

In most cultures is the idea, or tradition, of the "mid-life crisis", seemingly brought on by "becoming aware of one's mortality." This is how we program our minds, our DNA, and those around us, into carrying on this fine tradition of mortal fear, body death, emotional loss and suffering. We live our lives under the auspices of "being a contribution to society" while we're still alive to create a "legacy", and generally use death to motivate and worship our ego.

In the face of the "effulgence of infinite being", these concepts, traditions and cultural habits become obsolete. And by contextualizing living as an everlasting sequence of experiences and expressions of form, we arrive much closer to the Cosmic Truth about existence--a truth that is informed by infinite possibilities, choices, freedom and joy. We choose to live in this form. We choose to live as boundless expressions of creation, untethered by such mundane and slavish concepts of "lifespan" or "mortality".

By living a life without end, we send a message to our DNA to continually repair and regenerate, and we embrace the nourishing impossibility of non-existence. We have always been here, and will always be here. It's the inescapable essence of life.

The Strange Angel of Being

I kept scrolling past the TV Series, "Strange Angel" on CBS All Access last week. I watched the trailer, and wasn't really that interested in yet another series having to do with Luciferianism or magical thinking. Just not in the mood. Later, after exhausting all other viewing options, I finally broke down and tuned in.

"Strange Angel" is basically a recruitment film for Luciferianism, set in the 1930s, with sumptuous art direction and impeccable set design. The actors are all unknowns, but the casting is excellent.

The story revolves around a chemist with a rocket obsession--he wants to go to the moon, and stumbles on a "new kind of religion" that he believes will deliver him his lunar dream. The story addresses all the common "misconceptions" about Luciferianism, and the practitioners are all harmlessly framed.

Back in the day--way back--I had made some inquiries into this sort of belief system; reading stuff by Aleister Crowley, Madame Blavatsky, and even John Dee. It all seemed relatively harmless, even useful, from a manifesting point of view, but I ended up not following up on it much because there was something a little "off" about it I couldn't put my finger on.

Well, after watching Season 1 of "Strange Angel" (they are renewed for Season 2 this fall, BTW), I finally found where to put my finger, and realized what that "splinter in my mind" about it was: Intent is presented as a replacement for being. In other words, this belief system touts the Will as something separate from being.

Aleister Crowley's famous meme and cornerstone of these sorts of intent-centric belief systems, "Do what thou wilt", in my view, is an error, and this is why. Yes, humans have the ability to project their will on the world, and sometimes observe it "bending" to that will. But this is a misinterpretation of what's actually going on.

A strong desire, or will, or focussed intent has its genesis in being. You can't "will" something to happen without first being that thing, or more accurately, being the thing you would naturally be in light of who you are. And if such practices as Luciferianism are guilty of anything, it's over-simplification.

True, there are such elaborate tricks as "spells", "curses", and other versions of Mesmerism--all having to do with the manipulation of another's karmic time line with repetitious symbols and chants to gain resonate entrainment. A person is as susceptible to these things as they have perpetrated them on another, or who are in large denial about who and what they are.

Hence, any studies having to do with meditation, mindfulness, higher conscousness, and such, are attacked and discouraged by those on the black end of the magic intent spectrum--such as the inner sanctum of world cabals and the dark, soft underbelly of the Deep State controllers, who sanctioned such "research" as CIA MK Ultra Mind Control experiments, electromagnetic brain influencing, and Pavlovian television experiments--all still active today behind the curtain of government "black ops" programs. If you can keep a populace distracted, sick and stressed out, it is much easier to manipulate.

Okay, back to being. There is such a thing as being in "congruence", or in alignment with who you are being in the world. This is key, because there is a complication when it comes to manifesting one's preferences or desires: there are TWO points of attraction around which the universe coalesces. There is the "higher" self--the self that is outside of time and space; and then there is the "temporal" self, down here on the ground, all wrapped up in "3D" physical timeline existence. What you may desire down here in the trenches, may not align with what your true, inner, oversoul desires.

So this is where Crowley and his ilk are wrong. They disregard this dualism--saying that whatever you want, you can have--a gross oversimplification and a misleading come on to gullible spiritual seekers. It is, in fact, how such Luciferian movements as "The Secret" film and the generally misunderstood "Law of Attraction" got traction.

Yes, the Luciferians make a good case for non-duality, which I personally embrace as a spiritual practice, but, as they effectively demonstrated in the "Strange Angel" TV Series, it becomes a platform for the ends justifying the means, and that personal power lies beyond such concepts as "good" and "evil". This ignores the fact that humans are hard-wired to protect and preserve themselves, the species, living things and life itself. Those destructive or murderous outliers are victims of extreme epigenetic factors, outright "possession", or are carrying a massive load of karma.

There is no need to "intend" anything. Just be. What you are experiencing is the way the universe is forming around who you are being, not what you "want" or "desire". The denial or rejection of who we are is what creates conflicts, "bad luck", and other life maladies. So when things get tough or difficult, the tendency is to want something other than what is going on, instead of embracing that toughness or difficulty as an unacknowledged part of being that is screaming for attention.

The allowing and embracing of ALL of what we are is what creates an abundant life, because there is nothing left wanting, and nothing but fulfillment. We fulfill ourselves, and the universe simply forms an abundant, fulfilled life around that.

I have pointed out certain complications of living, but that doesn't mean it's complicated. It gets complicated when we separate what we think we want from who we actually are. We abandon who we are for what we want, without realizing that we already are everything we could ever desire.

What Healing Really Means

I woke up suddenly the other night--it might have been the thunder of a Kansas spring, or a nearby train whistle in this railroad town--with a distinct voice in my head. Actually, a loud voice in my head: "There is no 'out there'!", it seemed to rant, then a short pause, and, "External, internal--it's all eternal."

I turned over in bed onto my back, staring at the ceiling slowly being illuminated by the early morning light, with a faint patter of raindrops, and comforting far-off thunder. I found myself reflecting back on a conversation I had with my younger brother, where we had both concluded that we had "not signed up for this"--meaning human physical life. He was bemoaning making certain choices that he felt powerless to change, and I was offering up what seemed like lame platitudes about the perfection of the moment and the "master class" of three-dimensional living. We both realized we were referring to opposite ends of the same spectrum.

The loud voice continued: "You are the eternal. You are life." At this point, I really wanted to fully wake up and track where this commentary was coming from. So as I looked around, I realized I had said these things to someone, and now they were echoing back to me.

I've been going through some uncomfortable shifting physically. I wouldn't go so far to say it was a healing "crisis", but it is a healing, and it has been painful. I was on a "Zoom" conference call last night with three shamans, and had related this bit to them, and one of them said, "You are releasing your unconscious into the eternal, and your body is resisting it." They all nodded, and I remembered that loud voice. What if what we call "healing" is more a matter of bringing what is internal and external into the Eternal?

The most basic of bottom lines is that we are all eternal consciousness that has simply agreed to muck about in this thick earthbound density for a period of time, and after we're done "mucking around", we release whatever grasp we have on physicality, and retreat once again into the Universal Field of Consciousness.

I think that because I have been characterizing my stint here on Planet Rock as "mucking about", that is probably what I'm here to heal. All the resistances I have about it, and the resistances I have to what happens as a result of it, is really what I have been called upon (by myself) to re-contextualize.

When you're a rebellious renegade like me, after 60-some years of pain, suffering, and observing the transitory nature of it all, it ends up seeming like a joke. But I'm coming around to the Truth of it: I'm here to make the internal and external eternal. I'm here to live my life to reflect back to me the eternal, infinite nature of what and who I am. And if I can do it HERE--of all places--then I've really DONE something for the Universe at large. I've contributed to a morphogenetic field that bridges the duality of life and death. A field that says I am love, and that I am always here, and I have never been anything other than that, and never will be anything other than that.

So what "healing" really means is to heal the lie of death that would have us believe we are not eternal, victimized by the false construct of "in here" vs. "out there"--the death we create by not believing that love is all there is, and not understanding that creation and destruction are the same thing.

Hence, by claiming that "I didn't sign up for this," it is a direct denial of the eternal love that could potentially transform the Universe. Rather jaded of me, don't you think?

Let's transform all the little, petty complaints--deaths, really--into grand commitments to and expressions of the infinite and eternal love we all truly, and most basically, are.

That Mystic Broadcast of Oneness

It was around 1986 when one night I woke up with an "announcement" in my mind: "The mystic broadcast of oneness emanating from every point in the universe." I remember gazing at the ceiling of my room with that message reverberating through my being for a long time, as the faint light of early morning grew to illuminate the entire room.

From that experience was born the concept for the Mystic Broadcast Network, which at the pre-Internet time, I envisioned as a broadcast network of radio and TV stations with programming that enhanced higher consciousness and human evolution. I could not in a million years have conceived of what the Internet would bring a few short years later, with literally millions of video and radio channels, where anyone could have a voice.

As the Net rolled out, it seemed perhaps that early broadcast I heard was getting picked up by the general population, so maybe there just wasn't anything for me to do, personally. But, as time wore on, and the Internet turned into millions of idea bubbles, rigorously defended and attacked by other idea bubbles, I realized I needed to revive the original idea of the "broadcast of oneness", so I put up my own internet radio station that I felt was true to my original vision.

I tell this story as a result of a couple of things that happened to me this past week that showed me deeper context about that broadcast of oneness.

One of my favorite consciousness raconteurs is the late Terence McKenna. In one of his talks posted on YouTube, he makes the point that Nature is continually ramifying into more and more complexity and uniqueness. He took that idea much further with the development of his Time Wave Zero Theory, where he posited a Transcendental Object at the end of time that was driving all creation toward it with infinite novelty. He even graphed a "Novelty Curve" across human history. He derived the Novelty Curve by running millions of random samplings of the I Ching hexagrams through a computer algorithm, and found that the longer the algorithm ran, it represented increasing novelty, much like computing "Pi" out to billions of decimals. He then placed a graph of this up against human history, and found that the peaks and valleys of novelty corresponded to the ups and downs of human technological and political development. These correlations were so exact and profound, he concluded that there had to be some sort of overall "oneness" algorithm that was driving the whole thing.

I spent a long time studying and mulling this over, and have come to the awareness that only within oneness can there be uniqueness. New possibilities can only occur when the oneness of the infinite is factored in. What we call "infinite" is most likely all the possibilities of life we are not aware of. And were we to step outside the dimensions of existence, we would probably see that what is newly created requires the sum total of what exists, otherwise, how could it be unique?

The other thing that happened this week, was that my shaman friend and mentor, Janet Barrett, had me on her podcast to discuss "curiosity" and its role in consciousness. As the conversation sauntered along, we both started saying stuff like, "Most of what is created is simply picked up by the mind as a broadcast of a previously existing idea." And, as I mentioned from a George Carlin quote, "If it's true that we are all from the center of a star--every atom--then we are all the same thing. Even a Coke machine or a cigarette butt in the street in Buffalo, are made from atoms that came from a star. They've all been recycled thousands of times, as you and I. And therefore, it's only me out there. so what is there to be afraid of? There's nothing to be afraid of because it's all us."

A Facebook friend was doing some market research for her new book today, and was asking everyone if we even read email messages from subscriptions we'd signed up for. I snarkily replied that I wouldn't have subscribed if I wasn't going to read the messages. But then she followed up with me, asking what specifically would cause me to open a particular message. I came back with, "Well, whatever I was resonating with at the moment--whatever broadcast I was tuned into at the time."

After I had commented, I sat for some moments reflecting on what I am tuned into, and I realized that question is an excellent one to ask as a mindfulness exercise. What broadcasts are you listening to, or watching in life? How do those broadcasts make you feel? What content do you want to put into your own broadcast? Because, whether it's incoming or outgoing, those broadcasts are what is being reflected back to you as your life right now.

By tuning in to that cosmic and mystical broadcast of oneness, you allow infinite possibilities to become available, and from there it begs the question: Which broadcast of possibility do you prefer? It very quickly starts to become real that every particle, every wave, every point, everywhere is broadcasting its own program, as it entangles with and resonates with other points of broadcast that combine and manifest as unique creations--always in motion, always changing, always responding to your attention and intent. So, BE that mystic broadcast of oneness from your own life, and fling open the doors of infinite possibility for humanity, for Earth, and for the Universe.

Living in Possibility

Have you had this experience? You wake up in the middle of your sleep cycle, and suddenly everything about existence makes sense, and meaning washes over you in a timeless wave of knowing. You are caught up in a cosmic moment of understanding and feel suspended in time and space with your whole life laid out in front of you like a three-dimensional mandala. Well, this happened the other night, and, of course, upon officially waking up later, I had trouble remembering the dream and the experience. But it returned slowly over the last couple of days.

As I contextualized the experience, it became about living in the unknown, but completely without fear, knowing everything was in its right place and correct time. The tendency, when confronted with uncertainty and larger unknowns is to start doing what's been called "predictive processing" with the mind. This takes the form of worry, or obsessively computing and conjuring outcomes based on known data. It's actually a bad habit, because when actual outcomes start showing up, nine times out of ten, they are nothing like what was computed. Yet, for some reason, we keep doing it--probably from a sense of disempowerment and a feeling of being out of control, where at least you can control your imagination by creating scenarios.

Deep down in the behaviorial DNA there's a gaping fear of not being, and I think what we may think of as a terror of the abyss or void, is actually excitement about infinite possibility. Excitement and fear have been shown to fire up the same neurons in the brain, and most of what goes for fear of the future is learned. This lies outside the purview of a perceived existential physical threat, but we tend to lump anything "unknown" into a threat, hence the fear of the future.

The irony is that, as non-physical entities, we cannot NOT BE, but the over-identification with our personas, body, and other identity markers we use to interact with others sets us up for "losing it all" or just plain "losing it". Now, I've been there a few times in my life, and it really seemed real at the time, and for some time after that, but as events sauntered on and perspective was gained, I can look back on these "losses" as necessary wisdom teachers.

As I have begun to embrace this "living in the unknown", I have started to re-frame it as "living in infinite possibility." The habitual tendency of the mind and emotions to worry has now become a signal to observe how past perceived traumas have left their mark and sculpted a terrain of avoidance--much like keeping your hand away from a flame, or not moving when in pain. These areas of avoidance get activated when circumstances appear threatening due to perceived lack of information. I have started to simply let all that go, and instead embrace the excitement of not knowing what wonderful infinite possibilities are precipitating all around me to become gloriously visible at some point.

Along these lines, I've been experimenting with spending money--a big area of past trauma for me--and have started to notice that everytime I would spend, say, 50 bucks for groceries, 50 bucks of income would shortly show up--within a few hours or days. In two cases, the amounts were nearly exact, which made me start looking at this in the first place. I had no idea beforehand where these monies would be coming from, and in most cases, when I am scanning for sales or income sources, I'm completely surprised about what shows up instead.

By letting the unknown be unknown, it takes the limitations off of what is possible. Just declare it: "Show me something amazing", or "I don't know or care how, just show up!" and then remain mindful in the moment, observing the coalescence of events and circumstances as they unfold to answer your intent.

I've also noticed that worrying doesn't seem to have any affect one way or another on the manifestations. The problem with worry is that it is a way of stressing the body and is debilitating. It's better to re-frame worry into excitement or curiousity, spot the past trauma, observe it, and then remain mindful in the present. The sage and I Ching master, Wei Po Yang, when asked about what he had learned from a lifetime of studying the I Ching, said, "To worry is preposterous." Why would he say this? Because all of life is in support of being, and only when we cut ourselves off from that support by low self-esteem or self-destructive programming, do we repel that support.

Life makes life, and even death makes life, so either way, you're gonna be alive one way or another. Why not accept the excitement, the support, and the love we all have inherent in being?

Healing You

I've commented before in previous writings that I have a semantic aversion to the concept of "healing". From a non-dualistic point of view, "healing" becomes a matter of judgement about how we feel about our bodies and lives, and has little to do with the reality that how we express in our given incarnation is perfectly who we are being. No harm, no foul.

That said, from a day-to-day experience of life in linear time, we most certainly become aware of dysfunction and pain leading us to look for a way to "heal". At the core of these dysfunctions, pains, and unwanted conditions, are inevitably unconscious patterns we've created in response to experiences--usually traumatic or extreme in some way, either physically, mentally or emotionally.

The deep-down reality of the situation with disease and dysfunction is that we created or adopted--many times unwittingly--negative experiences that, because they were negative, we decided to block them, or denied them, or shoved them down into a dark hole of forgetfulness. The problem with doing this, is that the energies of the experience are still active and reactive in the present moment, even though we've quite thoroughly forgotten their origin or intensity.

Complicating matters is that every time these reactive experiences are activated, it affects the entire field of consciousness, and this is what I am addressing in this essay.

The harsh or ecstatic quantum truth is that we are all connected as conscious and unconscious energy vortexes. All of our perceptions and experiences, whether conscious or unconscious, affect the entire quantum field of life. On the day to day, we don't really observe this directly due to social mores, cultural memes and contrivances, yet we are all affecting each other with every thought we experience, every intent we create, and every action we take. And, this includes all that previously created and sequestered reactive energy we've placed in the denial box of the "unconscious", waiting to be triggered at any moment.

The important thing to realize here is that for every unwanted condition, denied energy, and latent trigger, lies the opposite, that when addressed and brought to present attention, causes a discharge, and so is no longer unconsciously reactive. What initiates this process of mindful attention can exist anywhere in the quantum field of life. Meaning that your "healing" is inevitable due to the increasing and expanding conscious present awareness of all sentient life in the universe. This is why it is possible to "be healed" by another person, animal, or entity.

Often it is just a matter of asking for the healing, and in the asking, the "field of sentience" sends back the resolving energies causing the disease or dysfunction in the first place. Of course, if we believe this can't happen, or "know" this "isn't the way it works", that serves as a barrier and further isolates the unwanted energy within the dark cauldron of our Unconscious. On the other hand, to become aware and in allowance of the reality that our unconsciousness is waiting to discharge upon our request or demand, then healing occurs.

Nothing happens without our permission. My favorite book on this subject is Alice Bailey's Esoteric Healing, wherein she makes this exact point. As a healer, without the full consent and trust of the client or patient, no amount of moving energy or discharging it is going to have an effect.

Therefore, the seeking of healing requires that the seeker be fundamentally willing to re-perceive what energies lurk in the dark cave of unconsciousness, and to reach out to the Sentient Whole to find and remind how, why and where we blocked or denied the energies of an unwanted experience. And in so doing, let go of these blocked or previously unseen energies, so they may contribute once again to our life and to the expansion of general universal sentience.

Healing has always been an inside job, and in acknowledging that reality we not only open the flood gates of our own healing potential, we also open the possibilities for others to be healed, ultimately serving the entire conscious collective. And by reaching out with intent and purpose, we call in the keys to unlocking the prison of unconscious energies, and free ourselves as well as our beloved fellow beings into infinite possibilities.

The Transcendental Object at the Center of Creation

Looking back on 60-odd years, I notice I've made it my business to follow some of the latest discoveries and trends in consciousness. It's more of a spiritual practice, actually, and allows a "quantum of solace" outside the normal noisy racket of my life. And every once in a while, I get a flash of insight about what this universe actually is, my place in it, and what life really means. Not to say I personally had any original thoughts in this field--just that every once in a while, I'm able to poke my head behind the curtain and see what's going on--or at least take a stab at describing what's going on.

My first real glimpse into cosmic discovery came about in a cliché way back in 1971 during a psychedelic experience. The gateway was "Orange Sunshine", and the experience was: "I saw what god was". I couldn't talk about the experience for years, but I've thought about it for over 40 years, and boiled it down to levels of consciousness, and among those, God Consciousness. This is something we all have access to (without taking psychedelics), it's just that our mundane aculturation, social training and--dare I say--American-style dismay with spiritual pursuits, puts us at a disadvantage when it comes to experiencing altered states of consciousness.

The thing about this first touch of god was, it terrified me. I mean it really scared the bejesus (pardon the pun) out of me. To the point where I was sort of stunned spiritually, where I couldn't even read a spiritual book or talk metaphysics for a few years after that.

But, as life paths go, I was returned to consciousness research from none other than my paternal granddad, a Baptist Minister by training, and a proud Irishman by birth. He gave me Teilhard de Chardin's The Phenomenon of Man, a pretty heavy read for a 20-year old--for anyone, any age, actually--and it pulled me out of my terror of my god encounter into an intellectual pursuit of proofs of god. This is a revered practice among Christian mystics, and I realized that under my granddad's jolly jokester Irishman act lay a true philosopher of magnitude. At any rate, I plowed through this dense tome a couple of times, and came away with a more rational view of what had happened to me that fateful night at the hippy dance.

De Chardin puts forth a series of thought experiments that bring you to unavoidable conclusions about the existence of god. He summarized that we are all "gods" in our own right (near blasphemy for his day), and that by merging into this universal consciousness, we all can have this divine experience.

Fast forward a few decades, and I was at a local ski resort on a two-night weekend gig with a band, and Sunday afternoon I was minding my own business eating a sandwich at the club where we were performing, and suddenly found myself looking at something in my mind that took me aback. It was a single sphere sitting there in my mind, much like the monolith in "2001: A Space Odyssey". I was like the apes jumping around trying to figure out why it was even there. And then came a thought: The entire universe emanates from this particle. Hummmm... OK. It just seemed to make sense, without any explanation--a self-evident display.

Fast forward another few years to Terence McKenna's "Time Wave Zero" theory, and we hear that there's a sort of transcendental object at the end of time, and that everything happening back from this "object" is a reflection and expression of that object. Time flows into this Transcendence like a vortex of water flowing down a drain, and it is entirely made of thought. This theory was enhanced by Kurzweil's Singularity--where all consciousness is moving toward a single point of universal thought.

THEN, a couple of scientists recently took the leap and mathematically proved that there is, indeed, one object from which the entire hologram of the universe emanates, and that it is a double tetrahedron (such as representations of the Star of David and the Sri Yantra). This accounts for all geometries, from spiraling galaxies to the double helix of DNA.

THEN, last night... I was watching the final episode of "Grimm", where our hero, Nick Burhardt, battles the ultimate evil only to watch in horror as all of those he loved are murdered by it. And just when poor Nick is about to give up and hand over the key to universal destruction to the evil guy, he is visited by his deceased mother and aunt--both powerful Grimm shamans--and together they defeat the evil, sending our hero back in time to when everyone he loves is back together again. His mother said, "The power of blood--the blood of you and all your ancestors--are more powerful than any evil."

The take away for me was that we all have within our own Being access to all the power, knowledge and love in the Universe, and it is ONLY a matter of Being Who We Truly Are. We are all not only Children of God, but also the Father of those children, having our Being in cosmic love and trust that everything there is, is who we are: The Transcendental Object at the center of Creation.

Disclosure and Consciousness

Some of you may know about my deep interest in Disclosure. I first heard about it around May, 2001, when Dr. Steven Greer held the first official Disclosure Press Club Event in Washington, D.C. However, before that, through the 80's and 90's, I grabbed up everything I could find about extraterrestrial visitations, and came to the realization that we are far from alone in this galaxy and in this universe.

Then, on Sept. 12, 2001, the group I had founded, The Northwest Disclosure Project in Portland, Oregon, hosted Dr. Greer for an event in Portland, well attended by over 900 people. I was able to hang out with Greer, and he made himself candidly available to the "insiders", assailing us with the "latest" Disclosure info from his "deep state" sources.

Fast forward 18 years to the current state of the Disclosure art, and we find that some YouTube channels about Disclosure have far more viewers than mainstream media outlets. And the call for "Full Disclosure Now" is being sounded by such high profile researchers as David Wilcock and Michael Salla, as well as whistleblower insiders as Corey Goode, Laura Eisenhower, and Emery Smith. This movement has really taken off since the release of the documentary "Above Majestic", which presents the extreme development and mind-boggling extent of a long-running secret space program engaged in by several governments around the world. Add to this the announcement by President Trump of the formation of a "Space Force", that brought the Disclosure people to their feet screaming--"There already IS a space force!!" Other cooler heads see that announcement as more "soft disclosure" by yet another world government.

For those of us who have been following the extraterrestrial "UFO" phenomena for most of their lives (I remember reading George Adamski's Inside the Spaceships when I was a pre-teen), the idea of advance civilizations commuting across the galaxy and visiting Earth, was really not too much a stretch. In fact, the more I sat with the idea, the more it made sense--based on the sheer mathematics of time and space the universe represents.

For awhile there in the early 90's, I entertained Terence McKenna's view that UFOs represented the extreme human need to meet and greet a Greater Other, to the extent that humans will hallucinate extraterrestrial flying objects as proof to themselves of this mysterious and unknowable Greater Other. In McKenna's psychedelic view, such things as flying saucers were essentially constructs of the human imagination--as he himself did experience.

As time wore on, and more and more information got released by whistleblowers deep inside these covert and compartmentalized "black" military projects--often putting their lives at risk--I snapped out of the McKenna hallucination into a much more bio-centric view of the universe.

In 2007, biologist and M.D., Robert Lanza, first published the theory of the biocentric universe, which is quickly gaining acceptance in several scientific circles. The theory states that the Universe is created by living consciousness, and that biological life as we know it is far more the rule than the exception throughout the universe.

Other experiments such as the "phantom DNA" test, by Russian physicsts, showed that when photons were applied to a single strand of DNA, once the DNA itself was removed, the light itself remained in the double helix pattern. This suggests that the entire universe is infused with a sort of energy matrix that exists to create and sustain life.

Now, put these concepts together with hundreds and thousands of reports of ETs and their craft, and it really isn't a stretch to believe. In fact, any good researcher has to also be able to spot media bias and manipulation by vested commercial interests, not to mention well-documented C.I.A. MK-ULTRA mass mind-control experiments from the 50's (up to the present), and the whole Earth/ET contact thing stinks to high heaven of cover up.

Of course, we're not the only humans in the galaxy; of course there are advanced technological societies interacting all through Earth's human history; and of course, deep forces of powerful vested interests would want to control commandeered non-terrestrial technologies for the control of and power over unsuspecting citizens of Earth. These are really no-brainers.

But it's not the point I want to make. Human consciousness is on a steep trajectory of evolution upward, and the thrust of the evolution is an expansion of consciousness into cosmic awareness that we are all ONE with the universe. Science is showing that there are energetic electrical connective filaments running throughout the solar system and even between galaxies, where energy is exchanged on a vast level across unimaginable distances. And we have access to all that connectivity. Evolution is exterting inexhorable pressure upon the human genome to expand consciousness WAY beyond where we have been culturally trained to be focussed (or distracted).

The significance of acknowledging awareness of non-terrestrial life, is to connect with the rest of the living universe. It is an evolutionary imperative. I would go so far to say that to deny the existence of living, breathing, building, traveling civilizations beyond our solar system is to deny our own destiny.

A Kansas State of Mind

I was on a video conference call this afternoon with a powerful group of shamans, and we were investigating the source of anxiety we all had been feeling this past few weeks. I had been pointing out the irony of my "Going Home to Kansas" project and how I still felt estranged from my home, despite physically being a few hundred yards from where I came into this incarnation. Suddenly, a huge gust of wind battered at my front door, loud enough to be heard by the others on the call, and immediately one of the group declared, "The wind recognizes you!" The wind suddenly died down as if to say, "Yes! I do recognize you."

A sort of inner bell sounded deep in my psyche, and I immediately recognized how the land, the weather, the air had been greeting me since I arrived in my new house. This was a breakthrough for me, because I have tended to live my life as if someone else was living it--separated from my true origins, a sort of fugitive on the run from a life I've never known. The wind reminded me of this, as though it had been tracking me the entire 66 years I'd been away from this land.

My intent for moving my body from the warm and sunny climes of Southern California to the pronounced seasonal climate of Southern Kansas was completely metaphorical. Something or someone was nudging me in a deep and poignant way to return to my roots--return to a place where I truly felt "homeness". What I mean by "homeness" is that deep, core feeling that everything is good, all needs are cared for, and where I am loved and cherished, and am in full touch with my universal power and infiniteness of being.

We began to discuss what a false dichotomy it is to separate the self as spirit, or consciousness, from physical experience and the body. The non-dualistic truth is that there is no separation between spiritual and physical. In fact, this false separation could be considered one of the oldest divide-and-conquer tricks perpetrated by the Controllers in the master-slave power games.

By observing Self as consciousness throughout matter, it puts us in a powerful creative position. There is no uncertainty about what is going to be reflected back to us--we are just BEING, and the swirling of physical matter we call the perception of life is merely responding to that being. When there is a false sense of separation, we develop anxieties about what "The Other" is going to "do" to us. We get all caught up in the victimization drama of being separated from our own creations. The Universe then begins to respond to our victimization, and down the rabbit hole we go, hands wringing, and sweat pouring.

By simply being fully assured of being, we find ourselves out ahead of life. We see our experience as truly and simply following our lead. There is no confusion about this as there was before. I've written about how Don Genaro taught Carlos Castaneda that the shaman (or Nagual in Toltec parlance) remains "in front of" life--able to see its approach clearly and completely. He can do this because he is completely at home in his being, undistracted by unpredictable uncertainties. He is undistracted because he perceives from a place of clear-eyed truth about who he is, and what he is being.

Appropriate to the Land of Oz here in Kansas, as the good witch Glenda advised Dorothy, "You've had the way to get home all along. Just click those heels of your ruby slippers together three times, and say, 'There's no place like home... There's no place like home... There's no place like home.'" We say that because Home is the ultimate and powerful state of being that has always been available to us, no matter what rabbit holes we wander down, or what victimized dramas we make so serious. Home is always within us. Hey, I can see Emerald City from here!

Law of Attraction Quicksand

One of my favorite "observationalists" is the "controversial guru", Teal Swan. She consistently manages to dig down to the basic fundamentals of most any cultural construct, assumption or judgment. Kudos to Teal. Look her up on YouTube if you haven't already.

Anyway, in one of her videos she de-constructs the Law of Attraction. Most "new ager" types, or novices in the field of energy manifestation, will know of this Law. And yet, few understand the sort of trapdoor that exists in the application of the law that can end one up deep in a quicksand quagmire of self-doubt, depression, victimhood and negativity.

The unseen problem with this Law, is that we are dealing with TWO (count 'em) TWO points where the Universe is responding according to the Law of Attraction: 1) Your higher self, or multi-dimensional self; and 2) your temporal self, experiencing itself in a physical body in this time-space three-dimensional linear timeline reality.

This creates two completely different experiences. The higher self sees the BIG picture of the life stream it is living temporally, and the temporal self, down in the streets, can see only the past and now, with no ability to see the future outside of guestimates, judgments and conclusions about what should be.

The higher self sees the entire lifespan, with its growth opportunities and infinite potentials. The temporal self sees the present moment, with all its needs, desires and logistics.

Enter that pesky Law of Attraction that acts as a gigantic mirror of BOTH selves highest intentions, lowest desires and temporal feelings. The universe reflects back to the embodied you what is your dominate temporal state of choices, responses and feelings. Simultaneously, it reflects back to the higher self all the infinite possibilities it has available to it for the temporal self outside of time-space.

This is a perfect set up for suffering for the temporal self. The temporal self usually has a whole raft of what it will deem "acceptable" and "what is supposed to be". The higher self has no such viewpoint. It only sees the potentials for growth.

So, when those inevitable lessons of life come along, our responses to those lessons are reflected back to us on top of any actions we take. So you can end up in an endless loop of negative responses because the universe, per the Law of Attraction, is showing you more and more circumstances to match your negative responses to whatever the lesson is.

Of course, to the higher self, nothing is wrong. All it sees is how you're progressing toward the highest expression of yourself. If we are not onboard with that, then down into the quicksand quagmire we go. To the degree we are resisting the negativity that is teaching us, or testing us, is the degree those lessons will continue to be taught.

The solution is to be in allowance of all perceived "setbacks", "letdowns", "fears", and "shouldn't be happenings". Be excited and inspired when these events or circumstances occur, because you know in your heart that by allowing them and not judging them, they are changing you into a higher version of yourself. This response then takes away any necessity to repeat the unwanted or negative experience. The universe then reflects back circumstances of excitement and inspiration.

As the comedian, Bill Hicks, famously observed, "Life is just a ride". The trick is be enjoy and appreciate BOTH the ups and the downs.s

De-constructing the Bureaucracy of Self

Humans are funny mammals--funny tragic, that is. At our core we are infinite spiritual beings, and by the time you zoom in through all the levels of power dissipation, we're left with individuals with tragically limited personal power, separated and compartmented into a matrix of beliefs about who and even what we are.

I've been stepping up time spent in clearing meditations (see Two Tools), and as I shoveled on through what sometimes seems like miles of decisions, judgments, conclusions, choices and self-evaluations, the image of a huge bureaucracy came to mind. And this huge bureaucracy was making up who I think I am, or have been.

Let's see. We have The Shoulds Department, where I can wallow in suffering because things should be different--as if that's going to change anything. But it's great for copping out and not confronting the truth of a given situation.

Then there's The But Department. Here we have the thousands of employees that immediately yell out, "BUT" when any idea that might lead to more freedom or personal power is broadcast. This is designed to maintain the status quo so there is no failure should the idea actually attempt fruition. After all, the worst BUT of all springs from the fear of failure or success.

Ah, yes. The Conclusion Department. This is the shut-off valve for practically any access to infinite possibilities. I can search for answers here, and this department will spit out the immediate reasons why such and such is true. For example, I can ask, "Why is my bank account so depleted this month?". A typical answer from the Conclusion Department is, "You didn't work hard enough," or, "The economy is down overall, globally, so that's why." Oh, okay. So I'll work more hours doing what I've always done. Ugh.

And, my favorite: The Judgement Department. Here I can dependably find all the self-evaluations, conclusions about others' behaviors, my body appearance, and of course, all the "hard data" about how I've messed things up, and how I could have done that better, but will never do it. Here I can cop out of trying to access any personal power, because, well, you know, I just don't have what it takes, I'm not good enough, and it's too much work, and no one cares anyway about what I have to say, or what I do.

We are complex beings. In fact, it is our complexity that limits us. We make things so complicated when we consider our infiniteness, our immediate access to total freedom, and our direct connection to Universal intelligence, that it looks like an impossibility that these desirable states are actually attainable.

We dumb ourselves down in order to conform to a set of arbitrary rules and laws. Why? To discover our infiniteness and our total freedom, apparently. The funny tragic thing about that is we can choose to break out of the bureaucracy of self and relatively immediately find ourselves shining like a star in Universal Oneness, unencumbered by the box we have called "life".

The Nature of Being Human

The other day, I found myself in a group visualization meditation with a prominent local psychic. She led us to an expansive garden and then asked us to find the tour guide for the garden, and ask the guide for a special message just for me. Immediately, there appeared a deep blood-red rosebud. The rosebud spoke, saying, "Humans' DNA is programmed just like ours: to bloom into a beautiful flower--to attain a higher state. It is the Law of the Universe."

As we came out of the meditation I was struck with the significance of that comment from the rosebud guide. Essentially, built in to the human DNA is the process of "becoming" or the ultimate evolution, which is spiritual enlightenment and mastery over life. It is built in.

In other words, it is the basic nature of humans to attain higher and higher states of awareness and consciousness. In scientific fact, it has been recently discovered and realized that the human brain operates in as many as 11 mathematical dimensions. These are apparently necessary to "step down" and assimilate the infinitely vast amounts of information inherent in every moment in such as way as to render it coherent to the extremely limited human senses.

Additionally, these dimensional operating modes are capable of accessing multiple universes and high states of consciousness. Psychedelic pioneer, Terence McKenna, made many breakthrough studies about the multi-dimensional nature of the human mind, where, with the help of such psychedelic substances as pure DMT and other plant hallucinogens, he brought back remarkable and repeatable experiences of advanced beings actually "hard-wired" within our lives, helping to guide us to our ulitmate flowering.

This jibes with recent discoveries that are leading some physicists to claim that the entire universe is conscious, and that every particle contains intelligence. Additionally, there have been several studies leading physicists to conclude that sub-atomic particles have the ability to shift instantly to parallel universes and travel instantaneously among them. This "quantum jumping" effect is what makes quantum computing possible--where the computer simply goes to a universe where the proposed problem has already been solved and retrieves the answer.

Some researchers have gone as far as suggesting that our own consciousness drives not only what we perceive, but events that occur in our local space-time. In other words, what we desire to see is what the intelligences of the universe deliver to us. Since most of us are buffered from total and complete knowledge of who and what we actually are, the illusion is created that life is "happening to us", when in truth, life is happening as a result of us.

After the meditation session with the rosebud guide, I noticed the guide continued to accompany me for several days. At one point it said, "Humans regulate themselves down. They make themselves less than what they are in order to fit in with cultural norms set by other humans who would control them. Release yourself from control, and become aware of the incredible and infinite power you have available to you as part of the original equipment. In another other word: Bloom!"

Relaxing While Falling

One of the major things I learned during my eight-year daily yoga practice was to relax while falling. What I mean by this is one of the properties of doing yoga asanas (poses) is to arrange your body in ways it either never has been placed, or is blocked somehow from being put in a particular position. This can lead to losing your balance, discomforts, straight out pain, or some sort of emotional release. The key to making progress with yoga asanas is to relax while the body gets accustomed to out-of-range placements, pain or falling. In this way, the "fight-or-flight" response is lessened, and it's then easier to approach the pose the next time and gain greater range of motion.

This strategy of relaxing while falling became automatic with me, so that anytime there was an experience of pain or discomfort or imbalance, I would simply let go, relax and regain equilibrium--allowing the energies to re-adjust and re-discover new pathways for healing.

On the other hand, one of the hardest things for me to get is that EVERYTHING is for healing. That sounds good, and reads nicely for a Facebook meme, but in practice the temptation to lose patience and take pain, setbacks, and emotional upsets personally can get profound. Uncertainties, worries, and general monkey mind shenanigans can really take the wind out of one's sails and leave him shaking his fist at the universe while questioning his very existence. Yet, this nearly bizarre axiom stands as one of the most intimate truths of human existence: It's all for healing.

But, Obi Wan, what are we healing from? What property of life is it that would allow pain and suffering and also the healing of that same pain and suffering? It seems like an exercise in masochism, and I certainly have accused the universe of sadism before, but, really. What's the attraction?

Some would say we are here for learning, but that can't be entirely correct, because we are, at our core, all-knowing, consciousness, so it is more accurate to say we are here to remember, if anything. Put the two concepts of healing and remembering together and we have the restoration of infinite consciousness.

From what I've gathered by being down here on our beautiful blue marble for the past 66 years (of this life), is that our poor Earth has been subjected to eons of wars of control--battles between forces that would keep things unconscious for the thrill of control and power, and those forces of consciousness bringing freedom of choice and wondrous creations of light and love. This grand duality of intention, borne out of the very dynamo of universal creation itself, serves a purpose. And I believe that purpose is the embodiment of our full consciousness into this dimensional world.

So, on an individual level, what we are healing is the rift between the automaticities of unconsciousness, and the full, infinite awareness of total consciousness. We are literally transforming that which is unconscious into that which is conscious.

At the core of asana yoga, for example, the practice requires one to awaken and make conscious all the energy meridians of the body, so that through the thousands of energy channels flows unimpeded life force, love, prana, and awareness. When any of these energy channels are blocked or constricted, it is experienced as discomfort, pain, confusion, emotional turbulance, or imbalance. By consciously manipulating our energies, we achieve a healing of that rift between what was once unconscious and is now conscious.

The prime manipulation is letting go--passing the pain and suffering from the clutches of the monkey mind, to the open, powerful, loving embrace of our Creator self--the Creator of all, within which we move and have our being. It's a falling away from control that decisively wrests control of our lives from would-be slave masters, and our own programmed, habitual thought--the Matrix, if you will, of our limitations, held and manipulated by the dark forces that would see us all doing their bidding as slaves and automatons.

As we fall away from dualistic control and allow the entire power of a loving universe course through our energy systems, we become free. We become uncontrollable, wild and dangerous to dark agendas. We relax and let flow the cosmic energies of love and light, in the service of the Creator of which we are all One.

To your quantum health,

Boyd Martin
pureenergyrx.com