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| Today's cold weather pic... |
I literally forgot to post yesterday, which is my subconscious letting me know that it's had enough of this bullshit journaling thing. All the more reason to continue!
I got all the back orders of E3 out yesterday. The cream finally arrived around 2 PM, so with dfficulty, I managed to haul the box into the house--it's 50 pounds, and I have the strength of a newborn puppy; so I basically rolled the box over to the prep area, and got it set up. I ended up with exactly the number of bottles I needed to fill the orders--whew! Ordered more today, after waiting for my bank account to settle down after doing a bunch purchases. I'm too close for comfort on my money for insurance and rent, after getting the minimum groceries. Just continuing to ask and receive!
On my way out of the PO yesterday, a friendly woman--probably about my age, caught my eye and said, "Brrrrr!" I nodded, "There's snow in the forecast for Wednesday."
"Really? Oh God... Is that your truck there with the New Mexico plates? Whereabouts?"
"The middle of nowhere West part of the state," I offered.
"I lived in Silver City for a lot of years--moved out here about five years ago," she nodded. "Hey, have you heard about the $3 lunch they have at the senior center? It's just over off Washington." she eyed me over making sure I was probably old enough--ugh. "It's a great deal, good food, too!"
I thanked her for the tip--I'll never go over there. Well, never say never...but I realized that I am truly in the age category of "senior citizen", yet I keep defining myself as much younger. And I think that's important, actually. I already feel old as dirt, LOL!
It started to drizzle on the way to the grocery store, so the humidity made it seem colder than it was--although I consider 35 degrees really cold (probably haven't seen anything yet--knock on wood). The plastic that John, Lori and I taped up to cover the missing cab rear window finally fell down, so driving around when it's this cold is, well, shall we say, INVIGORATING!
I managed to load the groceries into the house just before my hands went numb from the cold, and felt fortunate to have a warm house. I fixed something to eat and sat down to watch this week's installment from Stephen Pollitt and Source Energy Medicine. He was reiterating his definitions of "The Conscious", "The Unconscious", and the "Subconscious". I really hadn't thought of it in that way, so it was interesting, and useful.
Watched STNG as usual, and went to bed around midnight. I still didn't make my water goal, but I did drink the same as the day before, and my pee breaks seem to have changed to 4 hour increments, so I'm taking that as a hopeful sign that I'm getting re-hydrated.
Had really busy dreams, but promptly lost them, but I did wake up to a theta state around dawn with information about the human connection to Source. It's the perception of disconnection that is the disconnection. If we change our perception to connection, then we're connected. All the reasons, feelings and memories about disconnection is what keep us that way. So that's useful for me.
As I got underway with my day today, I was feeling tired and impatient. I get into these headspaces where I just wish I'd see more changes in my physical experience. It's very frustrating, but just before I start to lose all hope, I notice something that could be an improvement. But then, that goes away, replaced by some other angle of pain and discomfort.
Source Energy Medicine says that with the subconscious level below 200, things are slow and then cathartic when changes happen. And the tendency to sabotage yourself is high, so I'm constantly on the lookout for the tricky stuff the subconscious does to ensure my failure. The frustration and hopelessness I felt today is a mind fuck brought to you by none other than the SC!
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| Dawn Crystal |
Well, that's all that's showing up for now. Onward to the Land of Picard!
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