The Dark Art of Suffering

The famous saying, "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional", opens the door to one of the deeper rabbit holes of quantum living. When someone waxes philosophical about the "human condition", suffering usually is a big part of the expose.

Why is this? I think it has to do with one of the most insidious traps constantly lying in wait within the human psyche: the word, "should". Shoulds are a direct path to suffering. This is because when something "should" be happening, or should be working, or should be this or that, we are automatically in resistance to a condition. The resistance gets stuck and catches us like quicksand, as we continue the mantra of "This shouldn't be happening". as the suffering begins.

I call suffering a "dark art" because it has been used mercilessly by power-hungry abusers on their victims, and by those who would control others, for millennia. We also do it to ourselves, of course, but we learn it, because suffering is a cultural meme, and really nothing more than that.

There is another layer to the dark art of suffering, and that is what has become known as "spiritual bypassing". Spiritual bypassing refers to the glib judgment or conclusion another makes about another's suffering: "He's got that disease because he created it", or "Her higher self must be teaching her a lesson", or, "She's miserable because she chooses to be." Now this is tricky, because there is an element of truth to these judgements and conclusions, and that's why it's dangerous.

First of all, we are all on our very specific spiritual paths as incarnates on this beautiful blue marble. What another sees when perceiving us is what they want to see, and we become a mirror to their own perceptions. Therefore, what analyses, judgements and conclusions they may have about us, are really about them, not us. Whether or not we are creating pain and suffering in our life is only another's interpretation of what is happening, and cannot be a truth.

The additional problem with spiritual bypassing is that it creates an excuse to abdicate perceptions, empathy, and allowance. It creates a sort of glib acceptance that stunts choices, obscures reality, and blocks allowance of true being.

What's more complicated is that we do spiritual bypassing on ourselves that traps the condition we are resisting and blocks the flow of healing energies. "I'm suffering with this pain because my higher self is teaching me a lesson." Yeah, right--we've just learned that pain and suffering has been dictated from on high because we deserve it in our supreme ignorance. Nope. Not it. If anything, "your" higher self intends only love and joy for your life, and if that's not happening, it then becomes a matter of self-inquiry.

Ultimately, the experience of pain as an unwanted perception sidetracks us into suffering because "this shouldn't be happening", or "This can't be happening." Well, it is happening, and it is a giant door of opportunity that has been flung wide open for the discovery of the unconscious blocks and unmindful choices we've made now manifesting as pain. We can now bring to bear all the spiritual tools and life knowledge in the processing and neutralization of these blocks and their genesis. So what if it hurts, if the pain is directing us to the encasement of love and joy at the core of the blockage.

The most underrated and maligned architecture we have is the imagination. We've assimilated the cultural programming that the imagination is not real, when in fact, is the only true reality we have. Our interpretation of our experience resides in our imagination. All our vision, intentions, awarenesses and choices reside in the imagination. On a quantum level, what we imagine actually has atomic weight--this has been measured in laboratories. We resonate quantum particles into forms and movements in the imagination, and these quantum bits create resonances and entrainments on atoms and molecules and influences the intelligences within them. The experience of "outer" and "inner" is really all one big wholistic vibration that we call "life", and it's continually forming and re-forming based on what's coming out of the imagination.

This takes us back to the old saw, "If you can think it, you can hold it in your hand." In other words, there can be no right or wrong to what you desire to experience--there are no overarching "reasons" you cannot experience love and joy as life--other than the ones you, yourself, command.

The Discomfort Zone

I was watching a dear friend and teacher recently speak on a Facebook Live broadcast about how change is not comfortable, and about how we are using that as an excuse not to change.

Well... my dear friend, I have to disagree on a couple of finer points:

1. The reason most people need and desire change is because their comfort zones are no longer comfortable.

2. When the change one is seeking begins to happen, we feel excitement--not discomfort.

She also spoke about how the process of changing steers one through all the barriers, reasons, sensations and blockages that are holding the particular condition or situation we wanted to change in place. It's true that all of this unraveling can temporarily feel like things are "falling apart", or "caving in", however, if the intention was to change, this unraveling is the evidence validating the intention to change, so why not celebrate it?

Yes, we can definitely lose track of all the changes we have desired, so that all this "falling apart" seems dangerous or distressing--and if we go into being the victim, we risk the nullification of our intention to change.

In fact, most desire to change revolves around finding a comfort zone, where life comes to us with ease and joy, and we are free to express ourselves creatively, experience the world as a loving place, and where future changes are joyful and generative.

I would hazard a guess that the meme, "Change is uncomfortable" is really just an arbitrary point of view that ignores the mechanics of how things work in this magical 3-D world we've constructed. The bottom line is that the higher more generative life we seek change for, is, in fact, the truer reflection of who we really are. And to make that change, we have simply to focus our intent on that version of ourselve already existing as a parallel reality.

I would also profer the view that what drives most change is discomfort or pain of some level, and that it is impossible to change from an alleged "comfort zone". If we are truly in this theoretical comfort zone, why would we want to change from that?

On the other hand, why experience discomfort at all in a "comfort zone"? How about just choosing something different--perhaps with more magic, excitement and incredibleness?

If instead, we are suffering or prolonging discomfort, how about changing the current situation or condition by tuning in to the higher version of yourself, and sending out the intention to become that? More joy, more ease, more fulfullment, more amazing-ness. Then, be willing to experience whatever the universe presents to us as experience in the unfoldment of that version of yourself wherever it may lead.

I would also venture to make the observation that behind all discomfort and pain is the desire for that higher version of your life, and that any pain or discomfort we are experiencing is us in the process of actualizing that higher life. It's the perception that life is victimizing us that prolongs the discomfort, pain and suffering, and potentially completely blocks any change.

So switch it up. Be the creator. Spot where the victim is, and simply say "bye bye". Then go to where the ease and joy is that will demonstrate to the Universe--your co-creative partner--that you are onboard with realizing the greatest life you can experience, and that you are willing to go beyond that. Continually broadcast that vibration of ease, love and joy, and tune in to that same broadcast emanating from the Ultimate You right next door. Enjoy the ride, and enjoy arriving at your new comfort zone!

Pain is not Suffering

I posted this as a meme on Facebook from Teal Swan: "The circumstances you are experiencing are not the cause of your suffering. The cause of your suffering is the thought that what is happening should not be happening, or is not supposed to be happening."

It's an expansion on the old Buddhist saying I heard in yoga class frequently: "Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional."

The Facebook post got several comments mainly about physical pain. One friend wrote, "Well, then, whoever wrote that was never severely burned in a car accident." Another wrote, "I really resent those who say you can control everything with your thoughts. You can control some things, but we live in a physical world." Still another commented, "They're talking about emotional pain, not physical pain, right?"

In all cases, the people completely missed the message of the meme. It was not saying that your thoughts caused the pain. It says that your thoughts about the pain and/or its causation is causing the suffering.

In my own case, in the past, for several years, I had debilitating lower lumbar disc inflammations that would put me in bed sometimes because I could not move without extreme pain in my back and down both legs. I suffered greatly because I kept judging how unfair it was, and why me, an active, professional musician who ate right, exercised, took good care of himself should be burdened with this disability. Sometimes I cried. Not so much because of the pain, but because of the circumstances of it--and the situation I was in because of it.

I finally just decided to stop suffering and do something about my condition. I began yoga classes, and within a year, my back was completely healed. Yes, it was very difficult to do the yoga, and there was a lot of pain along the way, but I was convinced that it would work, and I had the drive and determination to get out of pain. This is the remedy for suffering: change the circumstances. Do something different. Get out ahead of the situation. Allow the pain, allow all the inconvenience, all the gripey thoughts and emotions, and just soldier on.

Anyone who has a serious disability, for example, Stephen Hawking, absolutely could not be in suffering and do the things he's done. Sure, he's probably in a lot of pain, but his vision, will, and determination to live his life cancels out what could be certainly the best of reasons to suffer.

What Hawking has done, and anyone overcoming any sort of painful disability, is to focus on what is working; the things in life to be grateful for, because that's where the energy is. That's where the inspiration lies, and that's where LIFE is. Life is not in the suffering, because suffering is a mental construct of victim behavior. It defeats hope, it neutralizes motivation, and rips the color right out of life and living.

So above all, my friends, gratitude trumps suffering, and will certainly lead to ease, joy and a zest for life.

Confessions of a Universal Surrogate

In the Access Consciousness modality, there is a thing called a "Universal Surrogate", which is someone who takes on the pain and suffering of the world with the intent that by so doing, they are bringing relief to the afflicted.  I found out that I had an unconscious habit of automatically internalizing not only the miseries of other people, but also Planet Earth itself.  

After 60 years, it finally caught up with me.  I actually attribute this relatively sudden onset of physical pain symptoms to a kind of awakening upon the passing over of my twin flame in January 2012.  Shortly after her passing I began to get intermittent muscle and joint pain unrelated to my physical activities. I believe that my heart was somehow "broken open" during the dying ordeal triggering the expression of all this stored-up pain and suffering I'd accumulated since childhood.

By using the Access Consciousness question of "What percentage of this (pain) is yours?" I discovered that nearly 100% of it was NOT mine.  I then began to systematically ask about every ache and pain, "Whose is this?"  

At first, I got pictures and sometimes verbal information about individual people whose pain I had taken in.  After several hours of questioning, I began to get pictures of mountains, forests, oceans, underground water caves, crystals and rivers.  This was because I had taken on the pain of the Earth at these locations.  After a couple of days of pretty much asking this question constantly, I started getting pictures of past pets, other animals, insects, plants and even movies and TV shows. I got pictures of books and magazines. 

I realized the extreme nature of my automatic "surrogating" for all manner of pain and suffering I observed regardless of the source.

Oh, yes, and pains are reducing or going away, strength is returning, skin is clearing up, range of motion is improving.  

A friend of mine asked today in a Facebook post: "What if pain is really memories of   collective experiences that took root in your body? And, you hold onto the memory root through the illusion of control?"

This brings up the possibility that part of the human experience of consciousness includes some degree or another of this special type of empathy defined within the concept of the Universal Surrogate.  

Perhaps we could carry the idea farther. What if all non-optimum conditions of the human body have as their root cause the erroneous belief that by making the pains and sufferings of others your own (empathy) it ameliorates that pain and suffering in the other person (or even in the world).  

Isn't socialization all about the belief that you can control pain and suffering in your experience?   Isn't part of "caring" about another's pain a cherished value in most cultures? 

In fact, isn't it possible that such accepted distortions and permutations as aging or "incurable diseases" are actually a sort of empathetic resonance with others who in turn have resonated with others who are dying?  

My shaman/coach recently pointed out to me:  "You know, it looks to me like you're dying. You're following Shay (my partner) into death. You need to look at that, and make a decision about whether or not you really want to be here"  (see previous post). 

I had been so busy taking on Shay's pain and suffering, I had forgotten to connect it to what was going on in my own body.  Quite often as I continue the Questioning, I'll see that a certain pain twinge, ache or stiffness was Shay's.

The second part of the process is to send the energy back from whence it came.  At first, I was reluctant to do so, thinking it was sending the pain  back to the source. This is a misnomer--pain is merely energy.  Whether or not it arrives back at its source 
as pain would be up to recipient.

If we continue following this magic carpet down the rabbit hole, it becomes possible to see how the "Powers That Be" in the world could quite easily control their masses by making empathetic surrogacy a moral imperative, such as in most religions.  

Is it then possible or necessary to "care for others"?  Well, perhaps shockingly, the answer is NO.  In fact, all that happens is that one person's pain migrates out to everyone in their vicinity, who then take it in as their own and in turn broadcast that further out into the society and planet.  That's propagation, not caring...

So what is a poor surrogate to do?  The very best thing to do when confronted with pain and suffering of any kind is to maintain awareness.  By this I mean to become very mindful of your own emotional state, and observe the mind and nervous system.  Empathizing or, worse, sympathizing with another person opens the doors wide to surrogacy.  

I'm not saying to not have compassion. In fact, compassion is probably the most mindful thing to do when suffering and pain come into your awareness.  Compassion is a certain stillness and an abiding in empowerment for another.  Yes, that person is hurting now, but I know, one way or another they are experiencing what they are experiencing as a completely unique imprint with special meaning just for them. For me to judge the situation to mean they need some sort of emotional support or surrogacy on my part is the height of egoistic control fantasies.  Instead, we must truly appreciate and respect another's process.  

Perhaps taking on another's pain is actually complicating and maybe neutralizing their process. You've made it about YOU now, when it's actually about them.

This is not to say that if you are present, say, at a car wreck, do nothing.  Preventing suffering or pain is not same as taking it on as your own. 

Is it possible that ALL conditions that are NOT joyful, empowered and pure bliss are created due to empathetic surrogacy?   Try this thought experiment:  Imagine if everyone you see who is in pain suddenly stops their own surrogacy?  What if pain and suffering is the result of a sort of cultural dissonance created by the mis-absorption of other's pain on a mass scale?  Maybe that's what causes aging.  Maybe that's why we die.  We're just all trying to control each other's pain.  

Considering recent research in the field of epigenetics, where our environment, including thoughts, feelings and intentions, affect gene expression--it's not too far a jump to see how pain surrogacy could easily create disease and even death.   

A dear friend of mine, who was a trance channel, once said, "Aging and death is really just a cultural habit."  Perhaps how we achieve this sort of "population purging" is by rampant pain surrogacy, which is fully supported and further propagated via social and mass media. 

Science has already defined the human body as a self-repairing organism. As Lissa Rankin, M.D. has proven in her book, "Mind Over Medicine", remove the stress response from the human body, and there is nothing it cannot repair or heal.  When she says "remove stress" she's talking about completely removing it, as in a radical state of relaxation--a state few of us ever get to, creating a "repair deficit", which could be another word for aging.

The stress of pain surrogacy is most certainly included in this sort of radical relaxation, yet most of us are completely unaware that we are doing this surrogacy.  Ask the questions. Keep asking the questions until things start to change, and continue asking the questions.  Within the question lies the energy of freedom, the energy of liberation, the energy of the eternal. 

What if the whole deal about YOU is your uniqueness?  What if all of Nature and all of Universal creation is about uniqueness?  What if the reason you die is due to a denial of that uniqueness?  Isn't pain surrogacy the height of non-uniqueness?  It hurts us because we are giving away a part of ourselves, a part of our uniqueness.  The Universe just wants YOU to be YOU.