Resistance is Futile

As I watch wind-driven snow billowing up into phantasms of white, enigmatic shapes, I sit considering my situation. Two weeks ago I made a life-shaking decision to return to the town of my birth. I was stalled out and rumaging around in a life I was not enjoying, except for the few minutes of respite as I lay in bed at night. So, it was time for a change!

I began an online fund-raising campaign to pay rent on house in Kansas, procure a vehicle that would (probably) make the trip, and funds to setup housekeeping, since I had no furniture, no kitchen equipment, or bed. Several folks pitched in, and with substantial help from a couple of family members, I was on my way.

This entire undertaking has moved along as if independent of my particular input, and only when I resisted a certain "way" it was unfolding did problems and apparent obstacles suddenly appear. I resisted losing my vehicle, and shortly it was gone; I resisted traveling "in the dead of winter", and shortly, there was 6 inches of snowfall; I resisted my online business tanking, and shortly, sales were non-existant. This led to deep doubts, anxieties and thousands of tiny uncertainties.

I began to come around to just letting go of control. Resistance, after all, is simply a control play. The universe "knows" what I have intended, and has set about delivering my desire. Who the hell am I to now question HOW it comes into physical reality? Not my monkeys, not my circus.

I guess the hard part is making the tiny, day-to-day choices that seem to ride up on me for approval or disapproval, and since they all have to do with "how" it's coming about, I wonder if my choices are inadvertantly delaying the outcome, or outright blocking it. This is despite going with what feels like my "gut", and despite outright muscle-testing, and heavy or light evaluations. The nagging monkey-mind concerns and niggling worries were taking the fun and adventure out of the adventure!

Every signpost and signal seems to be indicating "smooth sailing", and yet here I sit with a tight gut, fearing the worst, and just wishing it was over. Geez. Has life really beaten me down so much that I can't enjoy any part of realizing my desires and dreams? Maybe.

That iconic speech by John Goodman in "The Gambler" movie, where he lectures a gambling novice, "Do you have a problem, like some little girl? Waa-waa-waa! Or are you f'd-up temporarily because your temporily f'n stupid?" -- keeps playing in my head. It makes me laugh, yet at the same time it makes me feel like I've just leaped off a cliff and all the doubts and worries are suddenly cancelled by the reality of what I have just chosen. It's on, and it's gonna happen whether or not you're on board, buddy!

So, I believe there is a chance for some equanimity here. There is comfort in the truth that all is truly well, and it's okay to have what I desire. Resisting the hows and how-comes, is a hollow, futile exercise in personal control dramas. The key is to relax and enjoy the ride.

The quantum particles and waves have been set in motion and are merrily going about their duties, delivering the very thing I originally thought was such a great idea. Well, it IS a great idea, dammit! That's my reality, and I'm stickin' to it!

Relaxing While Falling

One of the major things I learned during my eight-year daily yoga practice was to relax while falling. What I mean by this is one of the properties of doing yoga asanas (poses) is to arrange your body in ways it either never has been placed, or is blocked somehow from being put in a particular position. This can lead to losing your balance, discomforts, straight out pain, or some sort of emotional release. The key to making progress with yoga asanas is to relax while the body gets accustomed to out-of-range placements, pain or falling. In this way, the "fight-or-flight" response is lessened, and it's then easier to approach the pose the next time and gain greater range of motion.

This strategy of relaxing while falling became automatic with me, so that anytime there was an experience of pain or discomfort or imbalance, I would simply let go, relax and regain equilibrium--allowing the energies to re-adjust and re-discover new pathways for healing.

On the other hand, one of the hardest things for me to get is that EVERYTHING is for healing. That sounds good, and reads nicely for a Facebook meme, but in practice the temptation to lose patience and take pain, setbacks, and emotional upsets personally can get profound. Uncertainties, worries, and general monkey mind shenanigans can really take the wind out of one's sails and leave him shaking his fist at the universe while questioning his very existence. Yet, this nearly bizarre axiom stands as one of the most intimate truths of human existence: It's all for healing.

But, Obi Wan, what are we healing from? What property of life is it that would allow pain and suffering and also the healing of that same pain and suffering? It seems like an exercise in masochism, and I certainly have accused the universe of sadism before, but, really. What's the attraction?

Some would say we are here for learning, but that can't be entirely correct, because we are, at our core, all-knowing, consciousness, so it is more accurate to say we are here to remember, if anything. Put the two concepts of healing and remembering together and we have the restoration of infinite consciousness.

From what I've gathered by being down here on our beautiful blue marble for the past 66 years (of this life), is that our poor Earth has been subjected to eons of wars of control--battles between forces that would keep things unconscious for the thrill of control and power, and those forces of consciousness bringing freedom of choice and wondrous creations of light and love. This grand duality of intention, borne out of the very dynamo of universal creation itself, serves a purpose. And I believe that purpose is the embodiment of our full consciousness into this dimensional world.

So, on an individual level, what we are healing is the rift between the automaticities of unconsciousness, and the full, infinite awareness of total consciousness. We are literally transforming that which is unconscious into that which is conscious.

At the core of asana yoga, for example, the practice requires one to awaken and make conscious all the energy meridians of the body, so that through the thousands of energy channels flows unimpeded life force, love, prana, and awareness. When any of these energy channels are blocked or constricted, it is experienced as discomfort, pain, confusion, emotional turbulance, or imbalance. By consciously manipulating our energies, we achieve a healing of that rift between what was once unconscious and is now conscious.

The prime manipulation is letting go--passing the pain and suffering from the clutches of the monkey mind, to the open, powerful, loving embrace of our Creator self--the Creator of all, within which we move and have our being. It's a falling away from control that decisively wrests control of our lives from would-be slave masters, and our own programmed, habitual thought--the Matrix, if you will, of our limitations, held and manipulated by the dark forces that would see us all doing their bidding as slaves and automatons.

As we fall away from dualistic control and allow the entire power of a loving universe course through our energy systems, we become free. We become uncontrollable, wild and dangerous to dark agendas. We relax and let flow the cosmic energies of love and light, in the service of the Creator of which we are all One.

To your quantum health,

Boyd Martin
pureenergyrx.com

Jumping Through the Glitch

I had something happen the other day that massively shifted my world. Recall in the "Matrix" movie when Neo notices a black cat strolling across a doorway--twice. Morpheus told him it was a "glitch in the Matrix", and was a sign that the program was being overwritten with new data, and in the movie was a sign the pursing Agents were onto them.

Since then, this "glitch in the Matrix" idea has gotten incorporated into the cultural psyche in interesting ways. DJs use the "glitch" to describe an obvious "error" in the flow of the music that is turned into a part of the musical work, or mix. I've also heard people say, when they encounter a synchronicity or some unexpected weirdness, "Hey, there's was a glitch!"

I bring this up as a way for me to describe (or understand) the massive shift I experienced. I was in the midst of a deep session with my shaman friend. I had been feeling stuck and powerless--pretty common these days--and she out of the blue said, "Well, you could always move to Bisbee, Arizona. I heard rents there are the lowest in the U.S."

I laughed at the absurdity of the idea, but then in a flash of inspiration--a thinking glitch, really--I thought, hey, why not move back to the town in Kansas where I incarnated? I immediately put the thought on the WTF shelf in my mind, and didn't mention it to the shaman.

As I began to wake up the next morning, and in a Theta state right before opening my physical eyes, and saw a 30-something man standing at the foot of my bed with a quizzical or concerned look on his face. I thought my eyes were open, but when I did open them, I realized it had been a visitation by a guide.

My next thought was, "Wellington"--the town in Kansas where I was born. My mind suddenly began processing everything I knew about my birthplace (not much), and right then I realized I'd NEVER considered living there, and that the idea was so off my usual track of thought and action as to be absurd. But as I did a slow jump through this "glitch" in what I had constructed as my set of possible life options, it became crystal clear that this option was beyond any "normal" expectation, and thus worthy of consideration.

There is a fascinating video on YouTube by Tom Montalk, who describes various types of synchronicities. There are the garden variety "coincidences", and then there are the more rare "manifestation" synchronicities where, as a direct result of creating a choice, things immediately begin to line up for the actualization of it. Montalk also talks about how synchronicities are a signal of entering a quantum space where events and circumstances are particularly subject to manipulation by the mind. The "weirder" events are, the less past momentum they have, so that by jumping into the weirdness, your causation is amplified, since there were much fewer points of creation for the flow of events.

Because I have never considered re-locating to the place of my birth, by choosing that option definitively, without reservation, the quantum energies are much more available for the manifestation of it. Montalk suggests we all follow the energies, symbolism and metaphors that make up synchronicities, as they can lead us to greater, more fantastic and fufilling versions of our lifestream. In other words, when there is a glitch, jump!

So, at this point, I'm on my way to Wellington! Although the resources to make this glitchy move have yet to show themselves, I somehow KNOW they are there, and my arrival in the Land of Oz is assured. In fact, I've set up a GoFundMe project, so should you be inclined to join me in the glitch, feel free to donate!

Riding the Waves of Feeling

I woke up this morning, and besides my normal waking fog, as I sat on the edge of my bed, there was some familiar terrain of feeling down deep. It was familiar in the sense of it seemed ancient and something I hadn't felt for a very long time. It was soft, powerful, all-encompassing and poignant--as if I had just arrived back home after a long absence.

This particular feeling persisted, and as I went on with my day, I noticed that almost everything I looked at, every smell, every sound, was triggering feelings I'd felt as a child, or at different times in my life--sometimes cascading with four or five opisodes firing at once. These have been intense enough to bring me to a complete pause, motionless, simply being and experiencing these intense messages from beyond, or unburied from deep within.

Many of these feeling phantasms were melancholy and brought about reactions of futility and sadness. As these continued to wash through me, I realised there was a juicy counterpart at the other end of this feeling spectrum: futility could be felt as high hopefulness; sadness could be felt as poignant joy. It became a matter of simple choice as to which end of the spectrum of these feelings I could feel.

For want of a better analysis, it would seem I've stumbled upon a kundalini event, where suddenly new spaces, new vistas of possibility have been revealed, and the gateway to these possibilities seems to have been flung wide open.

Lately, there have been astronomical reports about the sun's heliosphere contracting along with the solar minimum. The contraction of the heliosphere allows high-powered and high-velocity cosmic rays from galactic center to more easily penetrate the boundary between the heliosphere and our solar system, bringing new types of radiations to our planet. These have been shown to directlyl affect human consciousness.

Whatever it is, something is going on, and it's being felt by humanity either consciously or unconsciously, bringing a multitude of opportunities for all of us to explore the multi-dimensional aspects of our being. There is so much about ourselves that has been obscured, cut off, and made invisible for the sake of incarnation, cultural control and constriction of our senses and abilities.

When we begin to access previously shutdown perceptions and pathways to high abilities, it feels like a coming home, or a re-centering of being, just on the verge of overwhelming, yet completelly natural. It is the Second Coming of the Self, the beginning of an embodiment of everything that is.

Ask for it. Reach for it. It is there, and say hello to the infinite YOU.

Healers and the Inner Light

I got into a friendly debate this past week about what healers actually do when they are healing someone. My friend insisted that healers have the ability to "send energy" to others, and that energy from the healer is what causes healing in another. Although I'm sure this happens in some cases, my contention was that, if the energy sent by the healer was not recognized by the "healee", then the effect would be temporary, or non-existant. My friend said, "Well, how do you explain Reiki, or Qigong?"

I said, "These energies are recognizable as being a part of the subject's own energy field, so they have an effect. There can be no healing from an external source unless the individual being healed is accessing their own Reiki or Qigong energies. The healer merely acts as a resonant reminder." He nodded blankly, so I figured he either hadn't thought about it in this way, or disagreed. We just left it at that.

We all have access to our own inner light, that if acknowledged and directed, is the true source of any healing. From a non-dualistic perspective, if there is something to be healed, that requires a pre-existing means to heal it from the same agency noticing the need for healing. It's simply the dualistic nature of disease--the disease and the cure exist together, just as within every problem is the solution.

In Alice Bailey's classic manual, Esoteric Healing, she makes the point that unless the patient desires healing at a soul level, no matter what the healer does, it will have little or no effect. This is because no outside agency can "force" energy on another unless they accept or desire it, either consciously or unconsciously.

The only truly active principal in a healer's work is the ability to simply BE, and by BEING, the healer activates or stimulates the beingness of their client. That beingness is the healing inner light.

Because basically everything we perceive (and beyond) is energy, or different frequencies and/or densities of light, then by observing our own inner light, right there we have the means to heal any aspect of our lives. There are any number of ways to "shut off" or deflect our own inner light. Things do get stuck, go unconscious, get ignored, or we go into denial about them.

The most effective way to turn away from the light is to assign external causation. It is simple to be victimized by an assumed attack against us. The ego cries out in accusations, as feelings of hurt, rebellion, and revenge wash over us, darkening our light.

By simply allowing these attacks, or distortions, or incoming darknesses--like clouds in the sky--they can then float by as we remain unaffected, shining in our own inner light.

In my case, what has tripped me up repeatedly is the sheer volume of unconscious, habitual, monkey-minded shenanigans incessantly poured out by my ego. There isn't a day (or hour) that goes by where I don't catch myself feeling deflated, attacked, frustrated or victimized by my own interpretations of what is going on around me. This is the sneaky ego busy at work, making sure it's the only thing in the universe that has a right to exist.

After years and years of buying into these ego shenanigans, the negative energies begin to be embodied and reflected in the physical body as ailments, discomforts, and dis-ease. From there it is easy to eventually become desperate to find something "out there" that will bring some modicum of relief. This leads to popping painkillers, herbs and elixirs in the futile hope of a pain-free body. Our attention gets fixated on "finding the cure" out there, and the instant gratification of relief, rather than simply sending in the light, brightly, persistently and consistently.

Not that I have anything against these nostrums--I sell them, fergawdsakes. What I do have against these things is using them to replace my own healing light. I have found over the years that these healers--plant, mineral, animal, extraterrestrial, spiritual, energetic, or human--can have no real or lasting effect on my pain and suffering without the parallel application of my own healing light. By using these nostrums with the light, you have two quantum points that will then collapse the wave of dis-ease over time.

A healer is only effective as their ability to stir or invoke the acknowledgement of inner light in their clients, and a remedy, elixir, herb or potion only works when the consumer of it can access the pre-existing light the remedies are designed to summon.

In the spirit of this article, try this short meditation:

• Take a deep breath and clear the mind of chatter.
• Move the attention to the heart area of the body.
• Notice light emanating from this energy center.
• Notice light shining out from all the organs and joints of the body.
• Notice light dancing and circulating throughout the body.
• Direct the light to any area of your life in need of repair.

Make the light your most intimate and dearest friend. After all, it is YOU, and just like you, is infinite and invincible.

The Duck and Cover

Those of a certain age will recall the grade school drills conducted in preparation for a nuclear blast--duck and cover. I remember doing this a couple of times in 4th grade, at the height of the atomic bomb scare during the early late 50s, early 60s. At the time, I did not understand how ducking and covering--cowering really--under our desks was going to be any sort of protection if a nearby atomic blast was going to instantly wipe away everything. Even if we were to survive the initial blast, there was the deadly fallout to follow, so either way, ducking and covering made no sense to me. I guess the educators responsible for this drill figured it would be better to keep innocent children's wide eyes shut in the face of total anihilation, than to witness the carnage while it was happening. I dunno.

I woke up the other night with the image of schoolroom duck and cover, and came to the awareness that metaphorically, I did this when my experience either became too intense, or scary scenarios bounced around in my ego monkey mind. Duck and cover! The ostrich sticks its head in the sand, hoping it will all just go away. And sometimes it does, but it's guaranteed that the underlying causative factors for the duck and cover still remain, unless addressed head on with eyes wide open.

Duck and cover is how we engage in full-blown denial of our fears and circumstances. It gives us a sort of sense of protection, even though it is no protection at all. The soft underbelly reality of denial is the fact that those energies we deny are precisely the ones we must embrace in order to achieve any modicum of self-mastery.

What are we ultimately denying? Well, our own creations, or our responses to our own perceptions. One person can see the charge of a lion as a life-threatening event, or maybe that lion is charging up to give us a big hug. Of course, we're not going to wait around and find out, either running away or doing the duck and cover.

There are inexorable forces in this universe, and some of them are beyond our puny personal power. They exist in our world because we subconsciously agreed to co-create them in all their wonderous brute force. These great forces of Nature, such as hurricanes, earthquakes, volcanoes and supernovas, bring perspective in the knowledge that there are greater forces at work in the universe than ourselves, and serve as reminders of the lineage of power from whence we came.

When it comes to our own psychologies, it is important to discern the difference between an existential threat and a purely imaginary duck and cover event. And on the road to spiritual development, there are NOTHING except ephemeral fears masquerading as existential threats. That is to say, whatever we are ducking and covering from will never destroy us--only make us stronger.

Like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz story, our seeking to find "home" is often more a matter of recognizing our own ruby slippers and then how to use them, than any type of grand sojourn to an external wizard, who will dramatically reveal to us who and what we truly are, or at the very least pat us on the back with words of encouragement.

Of course, many times on my spiritual journey home, have I accepted a pat on the back as evidence of progress--a surface illusion at best, and it only served to distract me from the reality that the way home is known only to me. My greatest assistance has always been my own burning desire to return home as a fully embodied Self, living a Universal life of beauty, transcendence and power.

So now, my friends, let's crawl out from our duck and cover poses, and click those ruby slippers together three times!

Trudging Toward Utopia

I'm not long for this world. Not to say I'm leaving a world, but to say this current externalized world is not where I'm headed. Call it a "parallel universe", "alternate timeline", or "dimension"--it's the journey I've come here to undertake.

What I wasn't prepared for (and I guess very few are) is the sheer density of resistance, judgement, stacks upon stacks of conclusions and decisions against this journey I would face for the 65 years I've been on this dusty road. There are rewards. Stuff like blowing through fixed ideas, envisioning new possibilities, and spotting and evaporating hundreds of identities--usually formed from other people's expectations.

It seems, as I look back from whence I've come, that I sort of fell into this experience without really doing any due diligence--a sort of jump into the abyss without first bothering to find out what the hell is at the bottom of it. It seems somehow irresponsible, and certainly unthinking, if not downright dumb. And yet, I took the plunge and for 65 years have struggled in a seeming unending stream of disappointments, failures, stupidities, pains and sufferings, that, had I known about these in advance, I most certainly would never have come here.

But I did. So the big, flashing neon question looming before me is,"WHY?". Not that all this has been one big helping of sour grapes, as I've worked through all those regrets...mostly. In fact, self-forgiveness is essential for disempowering regrets, and this can only happen after you forgive "everyone else" you believed were the cause of all your suffering and discomfort in life.

I mean, my needs and wants are simple, really: and unencumbered life, free of economic restraints, creative blocks, and the freedom to experience whatever I please. Wait. What. Is that all? I'm smiling at myself for writing that, yet that IS the Utopia I've been trudging toward. It seems simple, yet after 65 years of going in what I've thought was that direction, it's difficult to not feel resisted against by life.

And there it is. Resisted by life. The Big Lie. The only thing resisting me is me. What I call "life" is simply the sensory experience of this particular mirroring consensus frequency, where it's automatic to be shown "evidence" of external resistance. These quantum entanglements of what looks like resistance are in reality my own evaluations and juried indictments of my own value.

The longer I trudge toward my personal Utopia, the more often I look at the mileage, and it goes up every time I look at the sign: 500 miles to Utopia, becomes 5,000 miles to Utopia. It is daunting, demeaning, and fully a reflection of my own internalized value and willingness to accept as valid my needs and wants. It's the feeling I'd get as a kid on a long family car trip: "How many more miles, Dad?" He should have then said, "As many as you feel are necessary, son."

What is this unknown and seemingly unknowable quota of miles? How much of this trudging and gazing at the mirrored increasing mileage signs must I perform? It feels like the story of Sisyphus, who was punished for his self-aggrandizing craftiness and deceitfulness against the gods by being forced to roll an immense boulder up a hill, only for it to roll down when he neared the top, doomed to repeating this action for eternity.

Punished for craftiness? Deceitfulness? Perhaps punished for a crime he really didn't commit, but was convinced of it by the gods? The crime of being himself? The crime of having desires? The crime of needing freedom? Granted, Sisyphus was a trouble-maker in the eyes of the gods--so much so that the gods could not forgive him, and instead sentenced him to an eternity of unrelenting labor and failure.

Of course, the metaphor for "the gods" is the Higher Self--that overseeing consciousness beyond space and time, and yet also a participant in life with the temporal self. And here we have the crux of the matter. The temporal self can look out upon the world and see a reflection of past decisions, past and present states of being, and externalized intentions. The Higher Self looks upon the entire life--past, present and future--and like the Biblical Creator on the 7th Day declares "All is good."

I'm coming to believe that assuming the Higher Self's viewpoint of "All is good" is the bridge between the endless trudging journey and the Utopian life. Perhaps it is all really the same thing--the exaltation of Utopia made all the more exquisite by the journey. After all, we do live in a dualistic world, where we can slingshot from one end of the spectrum to the other, sometimes instantly.

Like David and Goliath, I see myself releasing the slingshot of a lifetime of pain and suffering, aimed directly at the Goliath of my own resistance, slaying the monster that said my life has no value, and that I must endure endless frustration and failure. Goliath falls with a great thunder, and I am free.